People do some hideous things to music – from album covers to music videos, to live performances, to the songs themselves. The Regrettable Music blog is dedicated to rooting out these “turd-gems” and bringing them to you, our ridiculous… uh, scratch that… ridiculing reader. From Ben, Bennett, Darren, and Ian: bon voyage.
Raised by deaf and mute wolves, Bennett’s early life was hard. And confusing. Caves, fangs, sign language, and venison surrounded his world. Perhaps that is why he likes Henry Kissinger and boats with wheels (wait, what?). Anyway, the rest is not important. Just pray for him… please.
Ian was born with a silver spoon in his mouth––a big silver spoon. After a ninety-six hour labor that involved the violent use of forceps, tongs, and no small amount of silver polish, Ian and his spoon finally emerged. It took two weeks of planning by some of the most brilliant medical minds in the world to surgically remove the utensil, but through that miracle of modern science Ian is able to live a completely normal life today as a dolphin psychic. When not using a dictionary to write his snide remarks, he enjoys embalming salamanders and reading.
Darren (mis)spent his youth as a lumberjack for hire and has made it big by blogging voraciously on his early experiences with chainsaws. Currently, he collects three legged animals for a hobby and participates in sleep deprivation experiments as a family pass-time.
Ben put himself through 1st-3rd grade by working part time for the Polish mafia, before deciding to pursue life as a carney. He developed a knack for the accordion until he lost both arms in a senseless attack by a metalhead. Now he pays the bills by repairing iPods using a special set of tools he personally designed for his tongue. He hates slow jams and the soundtrack to Phantom Of The Opera with a passion. In his spare time, Ben idolizes and innovates the mullet and can be found trying to sneak onto the Primus tour bus when they come through town. He is also by far the most frequently censored, censured, and impeached member of the team–his unpublished comments would make a sailor blush.